How about a perfectionist parent? What effect does perfectionist parenting have on children?

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Many parents tend to do anything for their children. The pressure they put on themselves by saying they should be the best often leads to big family problems. With the spread of the perfect mother and father understanding on social media, the need to be the perfect parent has also become widespread. So how do you become a perfectionist parent? What is the effect of the perfectionist parent on the children?

Family is one of the biggest factors that shape a child’s success, happiness and next life. Every parent wants their child to grow up in the best conditions, but for the perfectionist parent, everything should be absolutely perfect. While they inject a sense of anxiety while trying to encourage success and discipline, it has been seen that children can also look for success outside and attribute themselves to a sense of worthlessness when they are not successful. According to the statements made by the experts, it was stated that while perfectionist parents want to take steps for their children to be more successful, they put the children in a certain mold and in case the child does not want that mold, they feel shame towards the family, harbor anger and hatred, and start to keep secrets.

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effects of perfectionist parents on children


Many parent models maintain their perfectionist approach in their daily lives, even towards themselves. They want to be successful in everything, so they expect their own child to be as successful as they are. Because the underlying reason is that the child he gave birth to and raised himself will not be able to bear the failure himself. It has been seen that this human model, who never feels “good” enough, also damages family relations and ties due to the pressure placed on the child.

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The effects of perfectionist parents on children

Another perfectionist parent type is that success and discipline life that he cannot be himself but wants his child to have. These mother and father types do not expect the best from themselves, but from their children. While they think that the standards they create will lead to excellence, eventually this need for excellence backfires.

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effects of perfectionist parents on children

SIGNS YOU ARE A PERFECTIONAL PARENT (98009710) (97004703) ) Criticizing a lot

  • Blaming yourself when your child isn’t successful
  • Looking at other parents and feeling inadequate Seeing
  • Feeling guilty that you can’t do more even though you’ve already done so much for your children
  • Constantly making your own parenting choices
  • losing your cool often because your expectations are too high
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    effect on children

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    • When the child is unable to do the work he or she is interested in, it is difficult to monitor and intervene (
      6) )
    • Over-managing the child
    • Pressure on the child for a perfect job
    • Criticizing rather than praising the child
    • Forcing the child to make your dreams come true without being asked
    • Seeing the child’s success as your own success
    • “as if he saved the world” gaze and comment on the activities that the child loves

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    The effect of perfectionist parents on children


    As a result of the research conducted by the experts, it has been revealed that the child has a perception of inadequacy, not being loved, anxieties of not being worthy, and a sense of guilt, together with the pressure and coercion exerted by the perfectionist parents on the children.

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    The effect of perfectionist parents on children

    Moreover, it can cause many mental problems such as anxiety disorders, problems coping with stress, social anxiety, inability to express oneself. For example, he may cheat on his exam to get good grades because his parent values ​​success over honesty. However, children of all ages should be able to make mistakes without fear of the consequences. These experiences are invaluable to children’s learning.

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    The effect of perfectionist parents on children

    Experts explaining that the sense of perfectionism applied by the parents is passed on to the child, over time, the child’s mental and psychological disorders such as depression, eating-drinking disorder, anxiety. He emphasized that he also faced health problems.

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    The effect of perfectionist parents on children

    It has also been seen that the child, who had a hard time and was not appreciated, completely eliminated the work from which the pressure came, that is, he gave up briefly.

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